no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize