Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
