R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
