You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
