Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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