The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
