i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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