I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
