dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
