If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
