aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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