I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
