I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
