just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just made my gag reflex go away.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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