I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
