Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
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I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
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Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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