Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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