why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
