I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
did i just pee glitter
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