Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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