i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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