redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
