Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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