You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
