That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
