i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
