Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
