Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
