Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
