worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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