remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
