Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The ass gains better be worth it
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