What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
