All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize