the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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