Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
