I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
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The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
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I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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