College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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