Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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