guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
