So drunk its hurt
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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