I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
