nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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