ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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