I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize