How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
