I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
