woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
