Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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