Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
