He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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