just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
