I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I need to align my fucking chakras
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
