Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
