Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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