Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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