I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just high enough for therapy.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Randomize
