dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
