apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just invented taco cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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