Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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