Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
