i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
