hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
