We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I smell like Dick and happiness
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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