that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
