I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
