he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
