after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Randomize
