Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize
