Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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