if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Still dying that you shit outside
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
